I love straws. I do. I love them enough to grab a stack, tie a bow around them and use them as the subject of my first lesson on my husband’s fancy, enormous and heavy camera. That being said, this temporary focus on straws forced me to analyze my affection:
• Straws are empathetic. Your drink can be mighty-crazy cold and a straw will deliver it right past your sensitive teeth.
• Straws are heroic. A straw will save you from a block of ice barreling toward you as you tilt your head back to drink. This is especially obnoxious when the ice has managed to form a virtual iceburg, the shape of your glass. Your beverage may then splatter from the thrust of the dislodged ice and you’ve gotta change your shirt. Not if you use a straw!
• Straws and lipstick get along.
• No orange mustaches.
• Straws are great for driving. With no head tilting, you can keep your eyes on the road.
• Good for smiles. It’s actually better for your teeth, when enjoying a sugary drink, to use a straw.
• You can match your straw to your mood. It’s like saying, “That’s right, I’m feeling pink today!” Children instinctively understand this. (Isaac thinks this is a very interesting intellectual concept)
• Straws are cheap fun. (I get my fix at Ikea, they sell boxes of 200 straws for $1, in funky color combos)
• Straws like to party. Display an array of cute, coordinated straws at a baby shower or birthday and it’s inexpensive table décor. Functional too.
• Straws like to dance. Stir your drink to “In the Good Ol’ Summertime,” while kickin’ it on the hammock. Straws like that.
• Straws reduce stress. A straw can help you keep track of your glass. Everyone gets a different color -- easy living.
• And, face it, slurping is fun!
I’m not alone. My sister, Julia, loves straws too. When she serves me a drink, it’s always, “And what color straw would you like?” She keeps a serious stash of options. (What’s that all about? It’s not like straws were a big thing at our house.) So, after much analysis and self-reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that straws are just great. I’m convinced that there are folks all around the world like my sister and me, who anonymously keep an ample supply of straws on hand for all of the glorious reasons above. You should too – go get yourself some! Straws are neat.
For a good, old-fashion "Turkey in the Straw" sing-a-long, click here.